goodbye Big Dave . . .

Posted on annePosted in book reviews/events

david’s dad, Big Dave has passed away, and we will miss him very, VERY much. he was so like my own father—interesting, quiet, and knowledgeable—i felt really comfortable with him.

i would like to thank everyone again for all the nice email and warm wishes you have sent our way during his illness and his struggle with social security. he died very peacefully in hospice. a nurse had just been in the room chatting with him, left to do an errand, and when she returned a few moments later, he had died.

it is a sad event that we expected for a while; we are at peace with it because we did not want him to suffer. he died with dignity in the manner that he chose to go, without tubes and machines. we are glad that as a family, everyone agreed that what was right for him was the best path.

we need to leave town for a few days to go to the funeral in long island. i’ll be here tomorrow and i’ll be sure to post, but i’ll be gone after that til monday.

i had other things to talk about and knitting to show, but i think for today i’ll end here.

106 thoughts on “goodbye Big Dave . . .”

  10. So sorry for the loss to you and your family. He sounds like a wonderful man. What an honor it must have been to have him in your lives!

  12. I’m so sorry to hear that! I am glad to hear that Big Dave was able to go on his own terms, so to speak, and that now he is at peace.

    My prayers are with you and David and the rest of the family – for safe travel, peace and comfort.

  13. Anne–

    I am so sorry for your loss–no matter how expected it is, it is hard. Thank you for sharing the wonderful pictures.

    Kathleen

  14. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Even when it is expected, it is never easy loosing a loved one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

  15. Dear Anne and David,

    You will be in our thoughts and prayers. Peace to you and your family.

  21. Very sorry to hear of the loss Anne. I’ll keep you and David in my prayers. Despite feeling sad for you and your family, I am glad to hear that Big Dave was able to go in a peaceful way, with all his family nearby. There is no greater gift you could have given him.

  22. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am glad that he went peaceful and the way that he wanted. It is such a comfort knowing that they didn’t suffer.

    You all will be in my thoughts and prayers. Safe travels to you all.

    {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

  28. I’m so sorry for you and David. At least Big Dave went well. When my husband’s grandmother died last year (she was 97!) she was so ready to go, and died quietly surrounded by her family. She even called us and told all of us why she loved us a few days before. It was sad, but comforting. I hope you have the same thing: sad comfort. It helps.

  30. i am so pleased to see that in the end Big Dave’s wishes were meant and he had such a peaceful passing. my thoughts and prayers for you both and for Big Dave on his journey.

  34. I’m sorry to hear that you lost yet another of your loved ones, Anne. I’ll be keeping you and David, as well as his family, in my thoughts. I’m glad that Big Dave’s story had a peaceful ending.

  36. Hi Anne,
    So sorry for your loss. I will keep you and David in my prayers as you make your travels to say your final goodbye.

    Rosalia

  38. Oh, Anne. I am so, so sorry for your and David’s profound loss. Happy that he had a peaceful and dignified passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you bid him farewell.

  41. Oh Anne, I am so, so sorry. I am glad to hear he had a peaceful passing. My Aunt passed away last summer and while I wish we had more time with her, for her it was quick and less painful than it could have been.

    Keep safe.

  43. Many heartfelt hugs to you, David and his family! While your journey will be a sad one, he was blessed to have such a loving family and a gentle passing.

    Hugs!

  45. I’m so sorry to hear the news, Anne. I’m sure it helps a bit that his family has the comfort of knowing it was a peaceful end. My thoughts are with you and David. Take care of yourself and each other.

  46. I’m so sorry! It is some small comfort that he was able to pass on with dignity. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

  52. Dearest Anne, I am so sorry to hear about Big Dave’s passing. He sounds like a wonderful man who will live long and sweetly in the memory of his family and friends. Blessings on all of you. Go with God…

  54. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Knowing he went peacefully as he wished should give you some measure of comfort. See you on Monday when you get back.

  58. dearest Anne and David, my heart goes out to you both on the loss of your father/father-in-law … I lost my darling mom 8 years ago in the same way – dignified, on her own terms, in hospice care – it’s the only way, and I know that will be the way that I will want to go – have a safe trip to the east coast, and take care of yourselves …

    best,
    mhv

  59. He looks like a man who would love a good celebration of his life and the smiles he seems to have for everyone!! Think of the joy in the next soul he will enter!! Safe travel.

  60. Anne, you and David both have my most heartfelt sympathy. Know that you are thought of and prayed for, these times are hard no matter if we know our parent is sick or not. I’m so glad that Big Dave was blessed to pass in the way that he had wanted to. Special ((hugs)) to you as you go through all that is to come.

  61. (((anne & david)))

    What a thoughtful, kind face Big Dave had, full of good character. A significant, vibrant thread in your lives has come to a peaceful end.

    May the peace that passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds.

  62. Anne, I’m so sorry to be posting condolences yet again. Your family is so beautiful, and I wish you, David, and all of you peace and comfort. Rest in peace, Big Dave…

  63. What a handsome family! It sounds as though Big Dave had much to be proud of in his life. How wonderful to know that the end came in a dignified and peaceful manner.

    My condolences to David and to you. Have a safe trip and take care of yourselves.

  67. I’m so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts will be with you and your husband as you go through this difficult time.
    Rachael

  71. What a handsome family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Safe journey to all of you.

  73. My sincere condolences upon your loss. The example of a death with dignity is a wonderful gift to give one’s family. May God be good to Big Dave.

  74. All that love and all those smiles in those pictures: what a beautiful family. May you all be sustained in the comfort of that love. My sorrow at your loss.

  75. Anne,
    My condolances to you and to Dave. I’m very sorry to hear of your loss… but I am glad that it was peaceful. He clearly had a strong loving family.
    May that same family love help both of you through this sad time.

  77. Anne & David,
    Prayers, hugs, sympathy and love are sent to you and the family. May God welcome Dave to his home.
    What a beautiful smile Big Dave has.

    -Linda-

  79. Anne,
    My sincere condolences for your loss. I will keep you and your Family in my thoughts and prayers.
    -Peg

  80. Oh, Anne! I’m so sorry. This has been a very hard year for you guys…

    All my love to you and David and your family.

  90. Anne,
    I’m so sorry, but glad Big Dave had the opportunity to make the choices he did and that he had all your support.
    Hugs and blowing a kiss.
    Leslie

  91. Sorry to hear about Big Dave. He sounded like a really sweet person. You and your family are in my prayers. Have a safe trip.

  92. Oh, Anne, you’ve had a bit of tragedy this year. I’m very sorry to hear about Big Dave. Please know you and David are both in my thoughts and prayers. Many hugs and be safe in your journey to NY.

  94. Anne – so sorry to hear about Big Dave. He looks like a true sweetie of a man. This is a poem I love. Hugs to you and David

    “In Blackwater Pond” by Mary Oliver

    Look, the trees
    are turning
    their own bodies
    into pillars
    of light,
    are giving off the rich
    fragrance of cinnamon
    and fulfillment,
    the long tapers
    of cattails
    are bursting and floating away over
    the blue shoulders
    of the ponds,
    and every pond,
    no matter what its
    name is, is
    nameless now.
    Every year
    everything
    I have ever learned
    in my lifetime
    leads back to this: the fires
    and the black river of loss
    whose other side
    is salvation,
    whose meaning,
    none of us will ever know.
    To live in this world
    you must be able
    to do three things:
    to love what is mortal
    to hold it
    against your own bones knowing
    your own life depends on it;
    and, when the time comes to let it go,
    to let it go.

  97. May you take joy and happiness in knowing that his life was well lived and that he passed on peacefully. Celebrate what he was and what he has left.

  98. I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful man, definitely someone who will be missed. I’m glad he was under hospice care and was well taken care of as he reached the end of his journey.

    Safe travels to you.

  100. so sorry for your loss. While I am glad that his was a peaceful passing, the loss is still deep and profound. cyber hugs to you.

  101. My heartfelt condolensces for your loss. May the happy memories of the time you spent with him warm your hearts in the coming days.

  104. Anne, I’m so sorry for your loss, and David’s. At the same time pleased that the family listened and accepted what Big Dave wanted and left him his dignity to the end. Now pull up all the happy memories you have of and with him. And send his soul on its way with love.

  105. people do that. it’s strange … the how or why. but, often, people “choose” to pass when all is quiet … when there are not witnesses. it’s strange, but true.
    and no one can blame them. i mean, who would want a room full of loved ones around … waiting, to be there, just in case? it’s our last moment of privacy. our last moment to say goodbye to earth, light, air, …. (sigh) ….. our moment to slip away, unnoticed, while life still goes on … as it does.
    and i think about how we’re all getting older. our hair (yep, you know i know, with my glop of silver strands) … grows lighter. little things hurt or ache longer than they use to. and the older i get the more i realize how precious this gift is.
    so, i’m a bit speechless right now. i sort of fell off my soapbox. oops.
    well, nevertheless, i am thinking of you and mr. man lace.

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