This entire week I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with emotion knowing that Mother’s Day was on Sunday. Mother’s Day. A day that has always been my mom’s day. A day that I never thought would be reserved for me.
Well…that’s not entirely true. Buddy, the good doggie that he is, gets me a card and a Starbuck’s gift card every year since I rescued him. He’s really thoughtful.
All my life I thought I would be a dog mom. I would love my four-legged fur babies like I had birthed them myself. But once I got married, I wanted a child to love and raise with the love of my life. I couldn’t believe I had this feeling, never having it before. I had heard about it from friends and relatives, but never had it happened to me. I remember asking my mom years ago about the concern of not ever having the “feeling” and her response was, “I can’t promise that you will have it, but if you do, you’ll know it is right.” I felt that response was a bunch of hooey. Such a mom answer. But, just like she said, I had the feeling and it was right.
We found out we were pregnant just a couple days before our first wedding anniversary. It was the best present! We were beside ourselves. We spent the next eight months preparing for baby.
We downloaded apps so that we could track baby’s approximate growth on a daily basis. We turned my office into a nursery and decorated it with a Peter Rabbit theme. Matt researched every baby accessory on the market for its safety and durability. Then I approved the final purchase based on aesthetics; it was a great compromise. We read everything we could about babies and also took parenting, cloth diapering, and baby wearing classes. And the week before the baby was due, we felt we weren’t prepared at all. Panic set in. Could we have done more? Do we have everything we need? I think I called my mom on the hour with tearful questions for a week straight. Her response always was, “you’ll be fine, you’ll be great parents, now get some rest.”
Padraig was born on Aug 22, 2012, and all my fears and anxiety went away when the doctor placed him in my arms and I saw the overwhelming look of joy in Matt’s face. That day I became a mother and every day I strive to be a good mom.
I have a great person to look up to as an example and I hope that I can be half the mom she is to me. Everyone I know calls her Martha (as in Martha Stewart). She could plumb a bathroom, make some curtains, plant a flowerbed, and have a crown roast on the table by sun down. She’s also one of those moms that is everybody’s mom. Have you known women like this? They’re amazing. She has an endless amount of love to give and so many people over the years felt my mom was their second mom. I can’t ever imagine being like this. It’s amazing that I remember to put on pants most days.
Growing up I remember telling my mom I couldn’t believe she made my baby food and used cloth diapers. Wasn’t it gross to rinse out diapers, wash them and reuse them? Why in the world would you spend the time making baby food that you could buy in a jar? As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I started researching cloth diapers. For so, so many reasons they are better for baby. As gross as it all is, I don’t seem to mind washing diapers. Funny, isn’t it?
And, without hesitation, I have made all of his food since he was able to try solids.
In so many ways I am turning into my mother. Every time I hear someone say that about me, I don’t cringe. I smile, because it would be such an honor to be a fraction of what she is. This photo of us, taken when I was 12 weeks old, really sums this all up.
She has held my hand through every aspect of my life since the day I was born. And now, I must do the same for my child. Last Mother’s Day she gave me a locket with the above photo inside. She left the other half empty for a future photo of me holding my child’s hand at the same age. My father took the original photo in 1978, and we had him take the photo in November of me with Padraig.
I rarely take this locket off and I love that as I browse through pictures of the last year, it is visible in so many special moments. Like this one from Christmas after we opened our matching Sky Caps my mom made us.
Matt has a special morning planned, for us to spend together as a family. He wanted our first Mother’s Day to be just us; I couldn’t agree more.
Happy Mother’s Day everyone and enjoy this special day celebrating your mother! And in case you need a last minute gift…wouldn’t mom love a membership to FIFC 2013 or a gift certificate to the knitspot shop? I know this mom would!